That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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