Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my shit smells like andre
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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