You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
