fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
