Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
