things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
