I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
