We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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