I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
