Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
