You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize