Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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