You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
