i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
