I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
