Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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