is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
