I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
