I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
