Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
