IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I am one with the molecules
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
