his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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