I wannas sexs uuuuu
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize