Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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