gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
