youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
