One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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