if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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