i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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