I'm really into asian looking animals
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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