She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
