I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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