I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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