I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize