He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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