so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
