While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
