He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
