just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
