we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
ttyl tear gas
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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