Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
