i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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