are you so shy because you have an std?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
