is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Randomize
