this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
