Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
