Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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