The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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