I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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