Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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