We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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