my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
