i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
