Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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