just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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