lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
