And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
