My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
