absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
