just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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